Anxiety – Fighting the Invisible Enemy

“Be afraid of the enormity of the possible”

That’s what I kept on telling myself. As a single mother of an infant son, would I be able to provide for him everything which I wanted to? I was just 23 then and living with my parents. Working 2-3 jobs at a time, always full of doubts, questioning myself. Incessantly anxious and constantly visualizing the worst-case scenarios, I was really finding it hard to sleep at night even when completely knackered. All those doubts and fears became a constant background noise in my head and kept me awake for hours. I was deprived of a good night’s sleep and the next morning I would wake up too tired to leave the bed. On most days I was unable to focus at work. With virtually no social life, I was badly suffering from anxiety. Aside from getting myself a rabbit, (which I seriously considered) I was out of options.

As Luck Would Have It

I still remember it so vividly, an unusually cold November night. It had rained all day and the sidewalks were still wet. I had just completed my shift at work and was walking home, hardly a 10-minute walk. My son Adrian, now six, wanted another toy fire truck. He had developed this strange habit of collecting just fire trucks. A corner in my room dedicated to all his collection. I stopped over at a convenient store to try and find one in the toy section. They didn’t have it, but I saw a signboard which read “Kratom sold here”.

I mean it wasn’t the first time I had heard about the Kratom, but I had never actually given a thought about using it myself. What could possibly go wrong? A colleague had once told me about how her sleep-cycle got improved and how she always was in a better mood now, attributing both changes to using Kratom. So, I bought a pack of encapsulated “Red Bali” Kratom. Popped one just after dinner and went to bed.

As I woke up the next morning, I realized I had slept like a baby! God, it felt good. I felt fresh. Hopped out of my bed to get Adrian ready for school and myself for work. No sluggishness or lethargy, just all that positive energy! I was clearer in the head and there were no background noises holding me back. It was still raining heavily outside, but I thought to myself this isn’t as gloomy as last night.

On the way to work at, I passed by that convenient store. That was the moment when it crossed my mind… Could it be? No way! A capsule, having a wholly natural leaf extract can’t be doing all this. I shrugged off the possibility which seemed more like a fiction and carried on with the day’s routine.

I came home tired and exhausted. Feeling low and mentally fatigued. I had my lunch and popped a Red Bali capsule. After a while it kicked in. Almost mysteriously my anxiety was gone and I felt totally relaxed. So much so that I did my laundry, cleaned my messed-up room and did other chores which I had no intention of doing earlier. It really was doing all this! I felt happier, more relaxed and much more productive. But the question I asked myself was how? And more importantly is it safe? I rang up that colleague of mine.

The Transformation

She was an old-timer, a passionate user of Kratom and knew so much about it. She told me to read all about it on a certain website and shared some scientific literature with me to go over. Over a period of next few days, I did what I could claim a research of my own and got to know about the alkaloids and flavonoids, the vein colors, the various sub-strata of strains and more importantly I debunked the myths around its use.

I read about the useful naturally occurring compounds in the leaves and their numerous benefits. I selected a few strains based on my own requirement and called my colleague to get them for me. She shared a link to one of the good online Kratom sellers in US. The best advice she gave me was to get my kratom in bulk to save money and then regulate the usage myself. It was really easy, and it did save me a lot of money by buying kratom in bulk.

With all this energy and self-confidence, I was now more involved and playful with Adrian. I was performing better at my jobs and pretty soon I left all of them for a full-time job. One with great colleagues and which actually paid me well. For the first time in years, I started having great time with friends, family and colleagues at work. More importantly I started to look forward to the future instead of being afraid or anxious about it. I felt like a girl again. Tomorrow was not a source of anxiety now; it was full of hope and excitement. Hope, I realized, is a beautiful thing. My life turned around.

The Ugly Truth

Statistics show that almost 40% of the Americans are affected by anxiety each year. That number is growing, fast! Out of those, 65% are like me who never seek professional help. Or worse even, a large number of them don’t even know they are suffering from it. The situation is dark. Anxiety not only affects the individuals but their immediate circle of influence as well. Children, parents, friends…. Relationships are gradually spoiled – the very fabric of the society is damaged. A little kind gesture or help is sometimes enough to lift a struggling person up. A word of encouragement, perhaps even a smile… Or even a naturally existing leaf extract! I will now share some of the information which I have gathered during my self-study about anxiety and its remedy with you.

Symptoms of Anxiety

Following are some of the symptoms of anxiety. If you, or someone you know experiences these on a regular basis, they might be suffering from anxiety and must seek professional help.

  • Restlessness
  • Uncontrollable feelings of worry
  • Increased irritability
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Issues sleeping

There are many ways to battle anxiety, one of the most popular being CBD oils. Finding quality CBD can be difficult though, as there are many options and sellers out there. A great place to start would be to google things like “Buying CBD in CA” and investigating the companies that show up as part of the search result.

I’m Playing my Part

I am no expert. I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. But I can still try to help those seeking help by playing my part. I had been suffering from anxiety and symptoms of depression, and I have been able to come out of it. All I am doing here is trying to help, sharing my journey and the information I believe that can be useful for someone suffering from such symptoms.

While I urge those, who are suffering from anxiety and depression to seek professional help, I will also suggest you to read about various strains which have proven to be very beneficial for anxiety relief, uplifting the mood and help to avoid going into state of depression.

Which Strains are Useful?

Without going into too much chemistry and biology, let me share the strains of Kratom which are considered extremely useful for Anxiety and Depression:

  • Red Vein Bali
  • Green Vein Malay
  • Green Vein Indo
  • Red Borneo
  • Red Vein Maeng Da (a personal favorite)

The internet is loaded with literature explaining details of subtle differences in their molecular structures which results in diverse aftereffects and tastes. There are numerous ways people here in US like to have their Kratom. Taking capsules, mixing powder in smoothies or food, or simply making themselves a simmering hot cup of Kratom tea. You can get all these strains of Kratom in bulk to decrease your costs and also mix them with each other to try various combinations of tea flavors.

Kratom Tea?

Yes, there is such a thing as Kratom tea! For those like me who don’t prefer capsules, Kratom powder can be brewed into a hot cup of Kratom tea with same effects and benefits, experienced with taste and style!

Associated Benefits of Kratom

Besides helping in dealing with anxiety, depression and stress, various Kratom strains are known to help in pain relief, boosting immune system, helping in opioid withdrawal and mood elevation. Some Kratom users have even reported improved management of their insulin levels, cholesterol and blood pressure.

Are There any Side Effects?

Like everything we ingest, there may be side-effects associated with irresponsible consumption of Elephant Kratom. Recommended dosages must never be exceeded and not taken with substances that do not mix well. While I advise you to buy Kratom in bulk or large quantities to manage the costs, I urge you to follow the daily recommended dosage.

So, What Does the Future Hold for Me?

Frankly, I don’t know. But that is what I have learned… To live in the present, and not worry too much about the future needlessly. The future is now! I have so much in my life today that I am so thankful about. I have Adrian who is doing great at school and loves his mother. I have a great job that I actually enjoy doing. I have great friends who are there for me through thick and thin. But most important of all, I have myself!

I live fully in the present and tomorrow is not a petrifying thought for me anymore. It is a prospect full of hope, optimism and expectations. With all the confidence in the world, which initially came from a little friend of mine, I believe that I can take on any challenge!  Now I remind myself every morning:

“Be excited and look forward to the enormity of the possible”